The Story of My Present State, A Narrative

Saturday July 29, 1995 – B

Preface

Introduction to myself

Is what I wait for

Knowledge of what I want

I long for

My place in the sun

I hopefully search for

My body, heart, and mind

Meanwhile, greet me with

The indifference of strangers

Then the animosity of foes.

I

Strobe lights tend to smother

The innate hues of things

Mirrors are adept at hiding souls

Let them get to you

Dance from world to world

To world

Horde your wealth,

Beauty, fame, and lovers

All non-existent

But yours for the taking.

II

I have nothing

Then, I have everything

With my body, heart, and mind

Still giving me the cold shoulder;

I stake my claim to the universe

But god is unwilling to make me heiress

Even when I plead

He is adamant

And so I ask him to banish me

As only bleakness awaits me.

III

He and I stop my death

I deny that I am nothing

You see, I am his

I count so far

Still, recognition of my worth

I seek

My proof as human

I pray to turn up

And so, god,

Help me first find a shrink.

Epilogue

Confused,

I am

Jumbled thoughts

Incoherent words

In harmony with

My body, heart, and mind;

I am no nut

Not even on the edge

Some shrink just need

Give me my answers.